Memoirs of a College Student

A few days after the outbreak…

Day 1

I was naïve back then. I was comfortably living the college life. Go to class, play some videogames, and then party. But now it’s as if it was all a dream. Sometimes when I’d watch TV and flip through channels there’d be news about some disease that would make people go crazy. I didn’t mind it though because there’s been so many diseases like the bird flu, mad cow, swine flu, etc. that it’d probably just pass like the other diseases.

More news comes up about this disease and it’s actually starting to worry a lot of the people on campus. Still at the point I still didn’t worry about it.

I can still remember that night. I was sitting in my couch. I was watching TV, trying to kill some time before heading out to a party. As I was playing I heard people screaming and shouting. Stupid me, my neighbors were Film and Media majors and I thought they were filming another movie like they always do. But it was actually getting a little too loud. At that point I was going to tell them off to be quiet. As I was walking to the door, everything became quiet. It wasn’t as if they just stopped what they were doing, it was too quiet. I was actually curious what they were doing outside so I opened the door and went out. Everything was a mess, but what really got me were the bodies and the blood. My mind went blank. A minute ago I was watching TV waiting to go to a party and the next minute I see people’s bodies lying in the ground.

I was standing there. I couldn’t move or talk. What the hell had happened? I was standing there until my neighbor’s door opened. For a split second I thought, “Alright someone can tell me what just happened.”

It happened so fast. My neighbor attacked me. I held him by his arms as he tried to bite me or eat me or something. I was shouting and screaming at that moment trying to hold him off. I pushed and kicked him off and tried to run away. He chased me and luckily I was able to grab him from the arms again and held him off. At this point, he was still trying to gnaw at me and I didn’t know what to do. I was looking around and I saw a pen. It was as if my whole body went automatic. I kicked him off again, grabbed the pen, and stabbed him in the head. I was standing there horrified from what I had just done. My neighbor wasn’t dead though. He slowly lifted his face and stared at me. I ran towards the living room and he chased after me. I then saw my baseball bat next to the couch and grabbed it. I saw him running towards me. I closed my eyes and just swung. I slowly opened my eyes and saw him on the floor, his head dislocated. I dropped the bad and just stared at the body.

I stood there. What just happened? There was blood on the floor. There was blood on my hands. I had never even gotten into a fight in my whole entire life. Now, I had just killed someone. The TV was still on and it caught my attention. The news was on. It was a broadcast about what was going on. The disease that was spreading around is making people turn into mindless beings feeding on people and infecting others. Then the news warned everyone to arm yourself. As they went on talking about what’s happening I looked around for something to defend myself. The only thing that I saw was the baseball bat. I grabbed it. As I grabbed the bat, I heard the news telling people to go to the TV station. There are a lot of people there and it’s heavily barricaded.

I just ran. I went out, ran down the steps, and ran. I realized then the TV station was only a few blocks down from the campus so I ran in that direction. It didn’t faze me if I was getting tired or breathing heavier. All I can think of is being safe and in the company of others. So I ran.

I had run out of breath and so I started jogging. As I was jogging I started hearing growling and screaming. I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. I saw stairs, ran up, and went into an apartment. I quickly closed the door and barricaded it. Then it dawned on me, “What if I’m not alone in this apartment?” I held my knife tight and just looked all around the apartment. I tapped on the table next to me seeing if the noise would attract anyone that was in the apartment. I decided to check the rooms. I slowly walked towards the small hallway of the apartment. Steadily and slowly I opened the door of the first room and peeked in. Nothing. I went on to check the other rooms and luckily the whole apartment was empty.

I didn’t know what to do. I tried to sleep everything off, but couldn’t. I walked around the house. I didn’t know what to do so I sat in the couch, turned the TV on, and lowered the volume. I sat there and watched. The news talked about theories of how it started, how to defend against them, how to solve the problem, and just personal stories of people. At this point, my mind was still in a state of shock. I couldn’t really register anything the news said. I just sat there, stared at the TV, and listened. I finally relaxed back in the couch and then I saw a notebook and a pen. I looked through the notebook and it was the person’s homework notebook. I sat there for a little while more. I don’t know why, but I ripped off the written pages of the notebook and decided to just write.

So this is where I am now. I’ve written everything that’s happened to me in barely the past hour. I don’t even know who would read this, but I guess the very least I can talk a little about myself.

So my name is Jan Tarroz. I am or was a sophomore in college and a Business Economics major. I was just basically an average person I guess. I don’t even know what to write about….. Well, as I said I was an average student. Played some sports, videogames, and hung out with friends. My GPA was average, they weren’t the best but I managed. I can’t really cook just cereal and microwaveables for me. Highlight of my college life are the parties and I guess the people I met.

I don’t actually know what to write about anymore, so I’ll probably just try to fall asleep. Hopefully, I can reach the TV station by tomorrow.

Day 2

I woke up. I thought everything that had happened was all a dream. I realized that I wasn’t sleeping in my own bed. I got up and walked around in the apartment for a little bit. As I got into the living room, I walked over to the window. I peeked through the blinds to see what was going on outside. Everything was a wreck. It was as if a riot just happened. It was also quiet and empty. I walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Luckily, there was milk inside and cereal on top. I sat on the table eating and contemplating about what I’m going to do. I knew I was going to head for the TV station. I looked around the apartment to find anything that would help me. All I found was a bat and I still had my knife. I was scared. All these different thoughts ran through my head. How am I going to avoid those monsters? What happens if they notice me?

I turned on the TV before I decide to head out to see what was happening in the city and in the station. The same people were discussing again about how to solve the problem and to tell people to head to the station. Then it happened.

As the people were talking, there was screaming of panic in the background. I was in shock. The people that were televising ran and set just suddenly became empty. The screaming continued and I saw people running and being chased. I saw those monsters kill and eat the people in the TV station. There was screaming, blood, bodies, and chaos everywhere. The TV screen then went black. I sat there. I dropped the weapons I was carrying and just sat there.

My hope had disappeared. The thought of being in the company of others and knowing that you’re not the only one scared vanished. I just sat there.

I went inside the bathroom closed the door. I sat in the tub and just laid there. I laid there until I fell asleep.

I woke up and remembered instantly what had just happened. I sat there for a little while more until I felt hungry. I walk over to the kitchen, open the drawers, and saw a bag of Instant Noodles. I sat there in the table quietly eating. I didn’t what to think or do so I just sat there and ate.

I realized that I guess writing eased my nerves last night so now I’m just continuing on. I don’t really have anything to write anymore so just going to go to sleep.

Day 3

I laid there in bed, staring. I laid there staring at the ceiling absolutely hopeless. It seemed as if I was just laying there for hours, but I didn’t care.

After awhile, I stood up and went to get something to eat. I sat there on the table just eating and staring at my food.

I spent the whole day just loafing around the apartment, unable to do anything. All the life and will I had been sucked out of my body.

Is there even any hope? What do I even do now?

I don’t feel like writing anymore.

Day 4

I had a dream. I had a dream that there were people in the street. I peeked through the window and there were people looking for survivors. I immediately opened the door. Then I woke up.

I stared at the ceiling for a little while more after I had woken. I realized that staying here in this apartment is not going to get me anywhere. I can’t just “wait it out” for other people to look for me. I decided that I was going to go out. I didn’t know where. I just knew I had to do something.

I found a backpack in the room. I grabbed it and went over to the kitchen. I look inside the fridge and all the food had went bad. All there was left was some cereal, Instant Noodles, and a little bit of water. I’d probably pass by a store on the way so what’s left would have to do.

I look under the blinds of the window and checked outside, it was empty. I stood there at the window for a little while longer waiting, nothing. I walk over to the door and stood there for a moment. I took a deep breathe and slowly opened the door. I was at the patio and looked around. It was quiet. I slowly walk down the stairs. I was scared. What if those things pop out of nowhere? What do I do if there’s an army of them? It was too late now. I stopped myself from shaking and started walking away from the apartment. I was on Jeffrey Rd. and I made a right on Culper St. I knew where I was now. If I went down that street I’d end up in the next city. That was my destination. At least there might be some hope there. As I turned the corner, I remembered there was a liquor store right there where my friends and I would go. I walk over to the store and waited for a little bit. I tapped on the glass. No response. I slowly open the door and looked around. Everything was a mess. I went over to the fridge and grabbed as many water bottles as I can. I went through the shelves and grabbed whatever food was edible. As I was leaving I looked over to the counter. The owner probably kept a gun behind there. I walked over to the counter. I made my way around the counter when something popped up from the ground and bit my leg. I kicked it away from me and hit its head with my bat. Damn it! I was so stupid!
I decided to go back to the apartment. I limp over all the way back. I got inside and sat on the crouch. I sat there and cried. I didn’t even care about the pain or the bleeding. I just cried. I was so stupid.

I limp over back to the room. I grabbed a shirt from one of the drawers and tied it around my right leg. Damn, it hurts. I laid in my bed. What the hell have I done to deserve this? I can’t think about it anymore. I’m going to sleep.

Day 5

Judging from the clock, it’s been about 12 hours since I’ve been infected…

I’m sitting here in bed thinking. I feel like shit, like I have a fever or something. Whatever.

Now that I’m sitting here, hopeless, just waiting for that time. I realize that I’ve been so caught up with everything that’s happened that I haven’t even stopped to think about what’s happened to my family.

Damn, I’m crying again.

I wonder how my parents and my little sister are doing. For some reason I’m about the very first day my parents dropped me off for college. Right when we arrived on campus, all of us in the car were amazed. We pulled up by my dorm and started unloading. I could still remember seeing both the sadness and happiness on the faces of my mom and dad. We had unloaded everything in my room and my parents and little sister looked around the place I’d be living for the next year. I remember making our way to the dining hall. We sat there and ate. My parents were amazed how it was an all you can eat buffet, teasing me that I was going to gain some weight. I remember my mom trying to feed my little sister and she was being her stubborn self. After we had eaten, we tour the place for a little bit more. We then made our way back to my room. We were all standing there at the doorway, smiling. My mom hugged me closely and told me she loved me. My dad also hugged me and told me he was proud. I walk over to my little sister and carried her. I asked her, “Are you going to miss me?” She replied, “Yes, I’ll miss you brother.” I asked for a kiss in the cheek and I let her down. I told my parents thank you for everything and they left.

15 hours since I’ve been infected…

I can’t stop crying. The pain is getting worst too and I still feel really tired.

I remember my freshman year and how I had met so many people. It seemed as if the time went by so fast. Everyday there was always something to do and people to meet. I was living the college life.

I would call my parents everyday to check up and my dad would always ask, “How are your grades?” I would answer they’re good, even though I was barely managing C’s. My mom would always ask me if I were ok or if I was sick. Lastly, they would give my phone to my little sister and she would always tell me that she misses me.

17 hours since I’ve been infected…

I really hope my family is ok. I wish I could’ve been a better person for my parents. I wish that I spent more time with them or just appreciated all the things they did for me. I guess it’s too late now though.

19 hours since I’ve been infected…

I’m so tired. I can barely keep my eyes open or hold this pen. I look at the clock and the time has passed since. I guess that this journal has actually been the only good thing that’s happened to me since this all started. I really hope my paren